Needless to say, round two of the crepes was a raging success! I think that I’m done with them for a while now. Craving satiated and…well, maybe I’m working on a peanut butter/chocolate mousse for tonight. Not loaded in calories and hopefully scrumptious, I will of course try it and let you know, readers!
The key to the crepes was a really small, nonstick skillet and allowing the batter to set up over night. Remember- not a thick batter but just right, like heavy cream. Just pour some in the center and roll it around and watch it because it only takes a minute to watch and do.
Also, I realized that I used like two tablespoons of cream cheese, not a third of a block (which would not surprise me at all- I LOVE that stuff.)
Now lunch? Just like I suggested in recent posts, the veggie spread is perfect to broil on fiber filled, whole grain toast with low cal Sargento mozzarella cheese! I rounded out the meal with fresh bananas and cucumbers and it’s perfectly light and filling. I encourage you all to try it! Substitute the butter and oils for this spread. It’s healthy and will make you happy.
Today has been a struggle but it’s a conglomeration of nature and the other afflictions. The rain makes the pain worse and hard to move around too much without dizziness, but hey! Better than other days! Even in the midst of so much bull there are still things to bring me to a small point of stability. I am thankful for those small things right now…because I really hate being unstable.
I hope that you are all still holding on out there. Still living. Still breathing. Still fighting. You are so brave, followers…amidst the pain and the struggles, you are right here, right now, reading this! Maybe you won’t be for long, but you’ve made it to this point- past so much. I encourage you to keep it up- if only counting your breaths for a while. It’s hard to escape, I know… It’s hard to want to escape. It will be okay… You can tell me that when I’m on a “giving up” cliff as well, and yes, it’ll piss me off or I won’t see that strand of hope, but it’s even true then.
From childhood onward, I’ve always had emotional and psychological stability issues. The physical issues just started to blossom with age and now all of it is what I call my big ball of just sticky mess…and anything that touches me gets contaminated, because my mind and body are contaminated. I know depression…I know anger and hurt…I know blame… I know pain…fear…I know about so much…and it’s scary, not knowing what will decide to flare up and when. I start school next week and I am so excited! I am also terrified. What if the depression flares do like this past semester…? What if the Dysautonomia (both forms) want to continue their spiral downward…? What about all of the walking, the fainting, the fear, the pain…? It’s insane to be so passionate and so afraid…but I am. I am always the highs and lows and fears and ambitions all at once.
Here’s hoping for all of us. Not just me, not just you, but everyone. Here’s hoping that things turn around this year and this semester. We can do this, readers. We can muster up to courage to take a step, however small. We can be determined to win and accept some defeat, but always rise. It isn’t easy…overcoming fear, daring to face the adversity created by society and your own mind- but it’s worth it. A shred of hope, a dash of courage and a pinch of confidence and once you get used to that flavor, you need more and more.
Let’s create a small recipe of taking a chance and moving forward.
I know that you can.
I know that I can.
We can do this.